Coming out is a sensitive issue; I've always had trouble "telling" someone that they should come out. The feelings associated with coming out are the same for all of us though: a fear that people won't be our friends anymore, a fear that people will treat us differently, or a fear that people will lose respect for us.

It takes time to figure out who you are in a world that never makes being gay an option. I was so confused around the ages of 15 and 16... I was trying to do what was right, trying to be what was right, trying to do what everyone expected, trying to be who everyone has always known me to be... but I quickly found out that with each passing year, it became more difficult to hide myself; it was like trying to keep a beach ball underwater. It got harder and harder to hide myself from everyone, and lying to myself, and being forced to lie to my family and friends about who I was caused me to grow angry. I was tired of fake-gawking at the attractive women that my straight male friends would gawk at. I was tired of hiding my eyes when they would glue themselves to an attractive looking man around my friends. I was tired of pretending that I was just like everyone else and feeling ashamed each day, all the time. Being ashamed that I was not better able to hide my glances, my mannerisms, myself.

As sex hormones started altering my face and body I began to get the confidence to start dating (right after I turned 17), and from dating I got the confidence to come out. Dating allowed me to accept myself in the sense that I lost the feeling of isolation that stemmed from my sexuality. I stopped feeling alone after I had dated so many guys who were just like me. Inside of me, with that loss of isolation and newfound feeling of compassion, developed the courage to stand up for myself and come out. When I was standing up for myself as a homosexual, to my parents or other family members, I felt like I was also standing up for the people I had dated, and all of the pain that they had told me about in their lives that they had experienced as a result of homophobia. What I'm trying to say is that coming out is about realizing that there is more at stake than just yourself.

I cannot begin to describe how afraid I was to come out. Not only was I afraid that my parents would treat me differently and that my friends would never call me again, but I was afraid that my aunts and uncles would never want me around their children. None of these fears have come true; I have received a universally positive response to coming out. A lot of people have written me saying that they are afraid to come out because they have many friends or are popular, and that coming out will cause them to lose their status. When you are open, you will change; there is a calmness, such a freeing feeling that comes with being open about your sexuality that makes you even more attractive to others socially. My mom always told me that the longest journey any of us will travel is an internal one - we travel alone, and all that we experience brings us closer to an understanding of who we really are as an individual. When we feel okay about who we are inside, then from there comes the courage to stand up for ourselves - and for me that meant coming out... There is so much more at stake than just our stupid 'image'; there are all of these other closeted gay people who don't think it is okay to be themselves. Coming out is a very hard thing to do, but I can honestly tell you, when you are ready, it is the correct thing to do. You cannot go wrong by being true to yourself.

Just like everything else in life, being true to yourself is hardly easy, there are always people who will come against us, no matter what it is that sets us apart (whether we be gay, or poor, or rich, etc.). But, my word rests on this - that our lives are far easier when we do live in truth - both to others and ourselves. Standing up for yourself, even to your parents, whatever for, usually comes with the territory of being honest to ourselves.

Don't feel alone in your struggle with your sexuality, because you're not. Being gay isn't evil or something that should make you feel ashamed. There are 6.1 billion people in this world and at least 10% are gay... that means 610 million people are gay in the world - that is over 2 United States' worth of people who are attracted to the same sex.